Breakup Hangover

In the past four years, I have moved from Chicago to California. During that time I have had a lot of experience in the dating world. I had my first heartbreak from my first love and I learned a lot from it all at the age of 18. In the last four momentous years I educated myself in relationships. Relationships are really the only way to know what you want and what you don't want out of life.

I have no regrets on how these relationships turned out and wouldn't take them back for anything. Not only did I learn what I wanted out of a man, I also learned who I was as a person. It wasn't until this most recent relationship that I had a revelation. I realized just how great of a girl I am. I have become confident in who I am and love it. I am comfortable in my own skin. I spent so much of my time focusing on what I could be doing wrong in the relationship and why it wasn't working. One day I realized that just because you love someone doesn't mean you are supposed to be together. Compatibility is key.

Having this life changing revelation didn't come easy. I have had my fare share of dating duds and poor relationships before realizing all I need is myself in life. A large majority of the people in my life, friends & family, are all either married/engaged/pregnant and I'm so happy for them. I am at a totally different point in my life. I am single and I can honestly say that I am okay with that. Confidence and self esteem comes from within and no where else.

A message to all ladies out there going through self esteem issues or bad break ups. It's always darkest before dawn. The generation we live in now a days is so surrounded with not being officially together but not wanting to see that person with someone else. It makes it nearly impossible to find what you want in a man. So with that thought in mind don't find what you want in a man...find what you want in yourself..AND GO AFTER IT. Have a relationship with your career and your own life. Go out on a weekend instead of sitting at home. Leave the house with no intention of being back until some sort of AMAZING adventure happens to you. Get into a workout regiment and better your body! Talk to strangers and meet new people! When you find yourself sad and thinking of that relationship that once could have been...stop and remind yourself why you aren't together. If that doesn't work, blast some uplifting music and go for a long drive or walk!

I find myself doing all these things daily. Once this new year started I promised myself that 2012 would have to be way better than 2011. So far, I have achieved this goal!